Home Sports The Course was the winner last Friday

The Course was the winner last Friday

The course was the winner in Warilda Vet Golf report this week

The course was the winner last Friday leading into the long weekend and the commencement of Daylight Saving Time. A handy field of 15 greeted the starters for the days 12 hole Individual Stableford event.

As mentioned in the heading the course was the winner with NOT ONE golfer breaking handicap but 3 managed to play to their respective handicaps by recording 24 points for the round and giving the Captain a bit of work to do with countbacks.


Geoff Hague was the first eliminated and relegated to leading in the ball competition. A bit more work was required to split President Macca and Jiver Phillips with the countdown having to be done on a hole-by-hole basis after all other avenues were exhausted.

Jiver’s 4 a 3 on the 1st was too good for Macca’s 6 a 2, so the chook went home to Julie to deal with, and Macca got back 2 of the balls out of the dozen he donated for the day.

Joining Haguey in the ball rundown were Lex Roberts (23) and Tiger and Cracker Cleal (both on 22).

Tiger also collected the putting ball with 21 and the Nearest the Pins went to Jiver Phillips (3rd), Tiger Cleal (5th) and Kimbo Cleal (9th).

The highly contested Mystery Ball was drawn by Jiver Phillips, and he showed great compassion for the Captain by drawing his card out.


 Dave Coulton-Vets Captain

Just Jokes:

Lifelong headaches

Fred was moderately successful golfer, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. His golf, personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he managed to push on, but when his game turned really sour he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem.

“The good news is I can cure your headaches, the bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure and allow your swing to work again is to remove the testicles.”

Fred was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he has anything to live for, but then figured at least he could play reasonable golf again. He decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realised that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning, swing free, and live a new life. He went to the club for a drink and as he walked past the Pro shop thought, “That’s what I need: a new outfit.” 

He entered the shop and told the salesman, “I’d like some new golf slacks.” The salesman eyed him briefly and said, “Let’s see . . .size 44 long.” Fred laughed, “That’s right, how did you know?” “It’s my job.” Fred tried on the slacks, they fitted perfectly. As Fred admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How about a new shirt, I’ve got some great new Nicklaus stock.”

Fred thought for a moment and then said, “Sure . .” . The salesman eyed Fred and said,”Let’s see. . .34 sleeve and . . . 16 and and half neck” Fred was surprised, “That’s right, how did you know?” “It’s my job.” Fred tried on the shirt, and it fitted perfectly. As Fred adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How about new shoes, we just got new stock with soft spikes” Fred was on a roll and agreed. The salesman said, “Let’s see. . .9 and a half. . . wide.”

Fred was astonished, “That’s right, how did you know?” “It’s my job.” Fred tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Fred walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, “How about a new hat?” Without hesitating, Fred said, “Sure . . ” The salesman eyed Fred’s head and said, “Let’s see. . .7 5/8.” Fred was really impressed, “That’s right, how did you know?” “It’s my job.”

The hat fit perfectly. Fred was feeling great, when the salesman asked, “How about some new underwear, got some great new imported stock.” Fred thought for a second and said, “Sure . . “The salesman stepped back, eyed Fred’s waist and said, “Let’s see. . size 36.” Fred laughed, “No, I’ve worn size 34 since I was 18 years old.” The salesman shook his head, “You can’t wear a size 34 –  every time you swing it would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.”

SOURCEDave Coulton Vets Captain
Previous articleMother Nature’s greatest ally is the Farmer
Next article1862 to 1998 our pictorial look back at Bingara Central School Students


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here